I'm In A Love Triangle

I hope the three of Us don't end up Like This.

Before I begin writing this Post, I'll like to say something: I actually hope two people never get to read this piece. Firstly, My Best Friend; Secondly, My Crush, who My Best-Friend happens to be interested in. On a second thought, I also hope My Wife and maybe My Children never get to read this too. because it might cause a lot of controversies in the future, especially if I can't write special piece for my wife. And Maybe My aunty, siblings, pastor and some of my co-workers never get to read this. Else this is surely gonna change their view of me.
Back to business. Over the years, I've had interest in a couple of girls, I just wanted to be more than friends with them, but with time, most of the feelings get washed away, while some of them persist, and manage to stay subdued over time.
But then, My best-friend happens to be a "ladies favorite". He meets a girl for the first time, and she falls head over heels for him. While I'm a sharp contrast to that, I'm more likely to be disliked by a lady whose just meeting me, (actually, most of the female friends I have, I meet under circumstances where we just had to get along with one another.)
One thing I'm happy about is that My friend (Let's call him "T" for the purpose of this discussion, except you read my previous piece on Him) doesn't "Over Use" this to his advantage. He respects these girls, treats them right, and tries to be best of friends with as many of them as possible.
Just like every other guy out there, T also has feelings for a number of this girls, Two of them actually, until recently when He meet a third one, who He has been crazy about (Which is very uncharacteristic of Him.)
I'll tell you more about the other girls, and His own dilemma in dealing with them some other times, but today, I'm gonna talk about only one of them. (Let's call her "F" just for the purpose of this discussion, except if you know the three of us personally, in which case I'll most probably be in big trouble).
I'll start right from the genesis of this whole palaver (i actually didn't know palaver is a correct English word until I checked my dictionary, I thought it was pidgin).
I started senior secondary school about a month later than most of my peers, then I was posted to a wrong class for over half of the academic session. When eventually I was transferred to the right class, I noticed a couple of things about this class (I'll write about it sometimes in the future.) and It was actually impossible not to notice this young, confident and vibrant young boy. I was actually sat right behind him, and we became friends. I also noticed this girl who always had a beret on, (Which was kinda uncommon in our class back then). She was beautiful, and had this lovely smile which was infectious.
The boy was "T" while the girl was"F". Before the end of our first year of school, there were lots of hook-ups in our class, as we had begun to notice the characters of each other, and get to know each other better.
"T" and "F" were mutually attracted to one another, but didn't exactly go into an official relationship, although they were as good as being a couple. They were even closer and more cute than most known couple in the class back then. But then, instead of openly showing affection for one another, they'll engage in public argument, and consistently take opposing sides on almost every discussion, but the chemistry between them was very visible to everyone.
After we finished secondary school, I, "T" and "F" got closer than before, and they still didn't have any official relationship, although they both admitted to having feelings for one another.
As I and "F" got closer, I began to have feelings for her, as I began noticing more positive sides of her, and I'll admit, she got even more beautiful (I don't know how that's even possible, because she was already too beautiful before.)
I believed if I leave this feeling unattended to, it will die a natural death, but each time we talked, chat, or I saw her pictures, I loved her even more. If she was somebody else, I will probably have told her about my feelings for her, but she is suppose to be in a relationship with my Best friend "T".
 I believe asking her out will amount to betraying the confidence and trust of My Best-Friend, although they never dated, and I don't see that happening soon, but then even if I date get to date her, I have this premonition, that she'll always compare me to "T" which might prove disastrous for our relationship, and cause constant conflict between "T" and I, which is something I'll rather avoid.
If I was to advice someone else who was in this same predicament, it may be easy doing that, but right now, I've decided to keep shunning my feelings, and remain best of friends with both "T" and "F". And this has also made me have a change of heart in the way I give people relationship advice.

The Love(S) Of My Life

 I've never been one for keeping much friends, and interestingly, until I finished secondary school, I hardly kept a friend for period of five years, circumstantial incidence made it impossible to remain friends with the same person for such a period of time.

 But in the midst of it all, I've always had some special persons, with whom I've been a lot closer to, this people were more than friends to me, they were more than siblings, they were more like a part of me. This people defined my life and made me what I am today, I owe them a lot of appreciation (and maybe some blames). Among these people, I'm proud to say I've met some beautiful, Intelligent, Interesting and simply wonderful girls. 

 Due to my unusual close relationship with these lovely girls (and ladies) over the years, a lot of people believed I must have dated a number of them (I Wish I Did), but our relationship was mostly platonic, innocent, care-free, and fun.

 I've decided to write about them for posterity sake, so everyone who reads this will know them, (hopefully one or all of them also get to read this). And for anyone who recognizes any of these girls, "Congrats". While for every other reader, I'll use their initials instead of their names.

M: M was the very first girl I'll say I had a special something for, We met in the primary school, probably before we turned seven years old, we were part of a three man gang, with the third person being my best friend at that time, a boy who goes by the name of J. 

M was special to me, as she was easily the most beautiful and most intelligent girl I knew back then, All the good memories I have of that school has M in them, after I left the school, I didn't see her for over ten years, but recently, I met a mutual friend who has her contact details, I intend to renew contact with her in the next couple of weeks. Maybe this time, I'll take my chances and ask to take our "Friendship" beyond "Friendship".

(The most intriguing aspect of M and I is that we were a part of each other's childhood, were best of friends, and our innocence in the midst of such a wonderful relationship is what I love the most about our friendship)

E.E: E was this my class mate at the second primary school I attended, she was the quiet type, not very confident, but what she lacked in confidence, she made up for with intelligence. We were very close until we finished primary school, people even made jokes of her being my wife.

We parted ways after our primary school days, I saw her a couple of times after that, but didn't talk much, but I'll admit, she looked better each time I saw her (I don't know how that's possible).

I hope to meet her one day, even if we'll be nothing more than friends, I think it'll be worth the time and effort.

JC.O: After I spent the whole of my years in Junior Secondary School avoiding girls like a plague, I got to Senior Secondary School, and there I met the most perfect combination of beauty and brain I had ever seen in my life (at that time), She was one of the most popular girls in our class/session, she was not only beautiful and brilliant, but she was also friendly and open minded, she listened to everyone's opinion around her, was a natural leader, and very humble.

This attracted me to her, and although we did not talk much in our school days, after finishing secondary school, we got to know each other better, and became better friends. I learnt a lot from her (I still do). Happily enough, we are still friends (although I'll love it if we'll be more than that) and I hope we remain best of friends for ever.

She changed and upgraded my standard for measuring girls, raising my expectations, and helping me to relate better with girls.

D: Soon after I got into Senior Secondary School, I meet a girl online, she stays outside of Lagos state, but I still wanted to be friends, so we kept in contact. Over the years, we got to know each other better, shared a lot of memories as well as secrets. I learnt a lot of things from her, as she opened up herself to me, making me do the same. She taught me a new type of trust, making me trust in a way I had never done before.

She changed my perception of things, teaching me to see things from the female point of view, helping me understand the female-folk better, making me a better man in the process. We were actually closer than most couples I knew around. From what I understood from her and other couples, I think there's a probability we might have been closer, or shared more than she did with her boyfriend.

I always wonder, if she was staying in Lagos, or someplace closer, and not half way across the country, Maybe, just maybe we will have dated.

I'll always be grateful to her for curing a better percentage of my naivety, making me more trusting, more knowledgeable, more experienced, and a better man.

I Love her very much, and we'll always be best of friends (I hope my wife agrees) .

B: When I got to Senior Secondary School, We also moved to a new house, I had a neighbor who lived just a couple of houses away, someone I'll normally never talk to, but we had something in common, our love for books. I grew up reading everything that I came across, from novels to textbooks, to newspapers, to magazines, just anything written or printed. I was not selective (except it had to do with figures, basically I was kinda allergic to mathematics).

And here I was in a new location, with basically no social skills, and I saw this girl who I never saw without a novel. We hit it up from there, became best of friends (Which I still don't understand how, cause we're very different). 

She was my new source of novels and textbooks cause we were in the same class (but different schools). We had a lot of memorable and intelligent conversations. And she made me see another view of the female folk. She helped me develop my social skills, making me more receptive of people, and brought out more of the interactive person in me.

We'll remain best of friends for a long time (maybe forever, or until I get a wife) as she's proven herself to be very knowledgeably, as well as being resourceful.

C: This is most unexpected inclusion on this list, I knew her all through my Secondary School days, She was always in the next class to mine, we saw each other basically everyday, but hardly ever spoke with each other, but there are some facts I'll admit to, Firstly, she's very beautiful, also, she's very intelligent, finally, she's a friendly person, but we were never friends.

Until recently, (Over two years after secondary school) I was repeatedly visiting my best friend, and her house was just a few streets away. I saw her almost every time I went to visit him, as she was friends with his elder sister.

We began to speak with each other, and became kinda friendly, now I know her a little better, and I can actually say she might be "The One".

All this people are part of my history, they are a part of me, and have contributed immensely in making me what I am today. 

To everyone of you I want to say a big "THANK YOU", God bless you all, an "I Love You All".

Song Of The Day: Chidinma - Kedike

This song remains one of my favorite love song by any Nigerian artist ever, despite the fact that it's kinda a new song.
The flow, rhythm, lyrics, progression and everything about it is very simple.
But another thing I love about the song is it's strong touch to Africa. The song is just to African, and totally impossible not to love.
The video is just something else, it totally compliments the song. And the guy (Dammy Krane) plays his role well.
Listen to it and tell me what you think.

Chidinma - Kedike (Video)

Chidinma - Kedike (Audio)

Chidinma - Kedike (Lyrics)

Song Of The Day: Michael Bolton - When A Man Loves A Woman

 I've been searching for a song to describe exactly how I feel, then I listened to this song for the first time today. The song was unbelievably real, and describes exactly how I feel.
 To every lady who listens to this song, I want to let you in on a guys only secret, everything said in this song is actually true. If you see this signs signs in any guy, trust me, He's in love.

Michael Bolton - When A Man Loves A Woman (Video)

Michael Bolton - When A Man Loves A Woman (Lyrics)

First Date Ideas That are not Dinner, Movie, Or Drinks

Here are alternative Ideas for a first date that are least likely to leave you out of topics to discuss, or put you in akward positions. They also work for any other date, be it a couple or a group.

This article is culled from TheFrisky.com

1. Fly a kite.

2. Walk your dogs at the park or, if you don’t have dogs, watch the dogs at the dog park and discuss which ones you want to take home.

3. Volunteer — plant flowers with the Parks Dept., donate blood, or paint a school.

4. Play Scrabble at a coffee shop.

5. Go to a used bookstore and buy each other one book you think the person should read.

6. Take a hip-hop dance class.

7. Get a psychic reading or have your tarot cards read. Discuss the accuracy — or lack thereof — as a starting point for getting to know each other.

8. Have breakfast before work.

9. See a free outdoor concert.

10. Go to a book reading.

11. Go bowling — winner buys the beer.

12. Go for a hike and bird watch.

13. Play miniature golf.

14. Go gallery hopping and talk about which paintings you’d buy if you were rich.

15. Play ping-pong.

16. Be a tourist in your own city and visit a local attraction that neither of you has ever been to.

17. Ride bikes.

18. Tackle a rock climbing wall.

19. Karaoke!

20. Visit the Planetarium or Natural History Museum.

21. Learn to cook something yummy at the local culinary school.

22. If you’re going to eat dinner, do it progressively, which each course at a different restaurant.

23. Play hooky from work and have a picnic in the park.

24. Play chess at one of those outdoor tables.

25. Go somewhere with interesting scenery and sketch — then ask strangers to vote on whose drawing is better. Winner buys the loser a drink.


My Thoughts: I don't buy all this ideas, but I agree with most of them, Being in the public with a person makes you see parts of the person you'll normally miss when you are alone, and you are less tempted to commit immorality.
Remember, Stay safe, and stay away from pre-marital sex, It does more harm than good. and it in no way solidify your relationship. Don't let anyone deceive you.
Sleeping with you will not make him love you, it will only make him suspicious of you.
We'll talk more on such matters later.

Love 101: What Is Love?

(Before reading this piece, I strongly advice you get a copy of today's Song Of The Day, Bob Marley's I s This Love? a.k.a "I wanna Love You". It will help you understand, flow with and articulate this piece.)
Love is easily one of the most misused words in the history of mankind, it is defined in different way by different people, under different context, and in different circumstances.
Everyone has his/her own definition of what love is, but it remains one of the most difficult questions to answer, I'll try my best to answer it, you might not agree with my definition, but feel free to tell us what love means to you.
Love is the indescribable feeling of unexplainable connection between two individuals.
It's not describable, cos it's a feeling that's just impossible to be appropriately described, and it's unexplainable cos it's better felt and expressed than explained.

I made a compilation of my favorite definitions and description of what love, (which I've culled from different internet posts over the years) and I'm happy to share it with you.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,
'What does love mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined
See what they think:

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

WHAT IS LOVE?
LOVE IS:
The strongest feeling known
The all-compassing passion
An extreme strength
An overwhelming excitement

LOVE IS:
Trying not to hurt the other person
Trying not to change the other person
Trying not to dominate the other person
Trying not to deceive the other person

LOVE IS:
Understanding each other
Listening to each other
Supporting each other
Having fun with each other.

One Baptist preacher has aptly said:
“Love is not a namby-pamby, loosy-goosy, warm and fuzzy feeling. That’s Hollywood love. That’s sub-teen puppy love.. . . Love is not a warm glow in the gut; that’s probably heartburn. . . . Love is more than tender words and affectionate glances. Love is more than gracious gestures, good table manners, and finely-tuned social skills. Love is more than feel-good.Love is self-sacrifice. Love is giving beyond what you have to give and moving into what you want to give.”

 "Where There’s Love.":

Where There’s Love . . .
There’s an elegance of simplicity
An affluence of frugality
And a display of humility
Where There’s Love . . .
It is home in its true place
Even outside its own race
Destined there by divine grace
Where There’s Love . . .
It calms every fear
Provides a listening ear
And wipes the sobbing tear
Where There’s Love . . .
Compassion is its fight
Gentleness is its might
And forgiveness is its right
Where There’s Love . . .
Its friendship is very real
Risking all is no big deal
For helpfulness is its zeal
Where There’s Love . . .
Innocence is its age
Childlike trust is its face
And patience is its pace
Where There’s Love . . .
It finds excuses to share
And offers a daily prayer
For God to keep it from care

In conclusion, Love is more than what most people take it to be, in subsequent posts, we'll talk more about what love is, and what it is not.


It is best we stop striving to define love, and instead look for an appropriate way to express it.

Remember.....
God Is Love....
Love Is All.

Song Of The Day: Bob Marley - Is This Love (I Wanna Love You)

I don't know why, but I just couldn't stop listening to this song today.
It's unexplainable, some people might not agree totally with his lifestyle (I kinda love him, maybe too much) but no matter your argument, even if you're not a reggae person, you just can't help loving this song.
This song is a legendary classic, and will always remain an all time favorite.  Doesn't matter the time, place, or audience you play it for (except in a church) you're sure to get a positive reception.
Doesn't matter if it's a crowd of oldies, rockers, hipsters or hardcore hip-hop heads, they are sure to sway to the song.
If you've never heard this song, then you sure are new to this planet, or have probably lived all your live in a monastery.
So Ladies and Gentlemen!
Welcome to the show!!
Enjoy the Music!!!
I Wanna Love You!!!!

Bob Marley - Is This Love(Song)

Bob Marley - Is This Love(Lyrics)