A Friend In Need Is A _____

Attitude makes all the Difference in Giving and Receiving

 A Friend in need can mean a lot of things to a different people. That's why we say "Different strokes for different folks." The popular saying is that "A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed."
But time and again, I've had reason's to disagree with this. I've been shown that just as He can be a "friend indeed," a friend in need can also be "a counselor, a confidant, a threat to You, or worse of all, A Pain in the Ass."
 Back to the original saying, a friend in need can be a friend indeed diverse ways, He can be Your truest friend, standing by Your side, attending to your every need, just to ensure He gets what he needs, while at the same time, He can begin to bring up everything he ever did for you. Even the inconsequential ones. The favors you never thought in Your wildest dreams will be mentioned ever again, some even go as far as bringing back to your memory embarrassing moments you shared together.
 The most annoying friends are split into two categories, there are some who will stick to you like a tick, almost walking in your legs, willing to do anything, even when you obviously do not need their help. It's worse if you are in public, as they seem to have lost all sense of decorum, and would gladly disgrace the both of You. They'll agree to whatever You say, take decisions for you, live for you (If Possible), and make Your life a living hell.
 The second and I'll say most annoying ones are those who act as if You owe it as a duty to them to satisfy whatever need they have. They'll threaten You, coerce you, cut you off, and even blackmail you just to get what they need. Most of the time they don't deserve the favors, but they'll just choose to be a pain in the neck, giving you unpleasantly surprise visits, and would even report you to everyone you know in common, telling them of how you are being selfish, proud and arrogant.
 I had an experience with someone recently, doing him a favor, and expecting him to meet me halfway across, finish up the stuff himself, but he was adamant that I should do all the work myself and send him the completed Job. This is in spite of the fact that doing it had already cost me unnecessary expenses. He was adamant, and when I insisted He come to collect his Job and finish it off Himself, he requested that I dispose of the whole project, as he will get what He needs elsewhere. I decided this was going to be the last time I'll ever do anything for him again. And I intend to keep my word.
 Just as "A Friend in Need can be A Friend Indeed",  so also "A Friend in Need can be A Pain in the Neck". It all comes down to wisdom, maturity, experience and attitude.

When is it Right to be Selfish?

Who Said That?

 This is a question which most people will easily answer with a big Never. but time and time again, I have been in a position where the appropriate thing to do would be to be selfish. Simple.
 Some people who know me when I was younger will tell you that I was actually a selfish little boy, and I'll testify to that. I actually was very much selfish, and I knew it. But at one point, I decided to be more liberal and selfless. Since then (By God's grace) I've actually been more of a giver than I use to be.
But the only time when I will ever be selfish again is if the recipient of my selfishness is proving to be foolish, careless, and unnecessarily selfish. Some people take your liberal attitude as foolishness, weakness, and a sign of Immaturity. They'll keep everything they have away from you, while expecting you to hand everything you own over to them, even when they don't deserve to have it. And whenever you ask for their contribution to a joint venture, they'll make an excuse, and give you a justification for their selfishness. Under such circumstances, I'll advise you be selfish to such selfishness.
 Another instance where I'll recommend selfishness is when someone uses your generosity as a front for laziness. Because of your hard-working nature, your sense of dutifulness, and your willingness to share, some people will chose not to work and practically live off your labor. They'll sit around all day, expecting you to bring in all you have, while they sit on their ass and wholeheartedly help you to feed off your labor. In such instances, I recommend you go into full selfishness mode.
 Finally, and most people will call me a selfish guy for this. when everybody is being graciously generous over a trivial issue, Then I recommend you can get a little bit selfish. I'm talking about those awkward moments when there is only a little amount of groundnut, or other food item left in the plate, and everyone is like "You take it, I'm filled." and then everyone is politely, charismatically, courteously leave the last piece of food item in the plate. I'll gladly pick it up and eat it. Let's forget about "big boyism" or ego, or "whatever". Let's eat and get our belly filled. Pick the last stuff left, satisfy yourself, forget about what others will think or say. And leave there.
 In summary, it is sometimes necessary to be selfish, and I'll advice you listen to all sides of a story before passing your judgement.

I'm In A Love Triangle

I hope the three of Us don't end up Like This.

Before I begin writing this Post, I'll like to say something: I actually hope two people never get to read this piece. Firstly, My Best Friend; Secondly, My Crush, who My Best-Friend happens to be interested in. On a second thought, I also hope My Wife and maybe My Children never get to read this too. because it might cause a lot of controversies in the future, especially if I can't write special piece for my wife. And Maybe My aunty, siblings, pastor and some of my co-workers never get to read this. Else this is surely gonna change their view of me.
Back to business. Over the years, I've had interest in a couple of girls, I just wanted to be more than friends with them, but with time, most of the feelings get washed away, while some of them persist, and manage to stay subdued over time.
But then, My best-friend happens to be a "ladies favorite". He meets a girl for the first time, and she falls head over heels for him. While I'm a sharp contrast to that, I'm more likely to be disliked by a lady whose just meeting me, (actually, most of the female friends I have, I meet under circumstances where we just had to get along with one another.)
One thing I'm happy about is that My friend (Let's call him "T" for the purpose of this discussion, except you read my previous piece on Him) doesn't "Over Use" this to his advantage. He respects these girls, treats them right, and tries to be best of friends with as many of them as possible.
Just like every other guy out there, T also has feelings for a number of this girls, Two of them actually, until recently when He meet a third one, who He has been crazy about (Which is very uncharacteristic of Him.)
I'll tell you more about the other girls, and His own dilemma in dealing with them some other times, but today, I'm gonna talk about only one of them. (Let's call her "F" just for the purpose of this discussion, except if you know the three of us personally, in which case I'll most probably be in big trouble).
I'll start right from the genesis of this whole palaver (i actually didn't know palaver is a correct English word until I checked my dictionary, I thought it was pidgin).
I started senior secondary school about a month later than most of my peers, then I was posted to a wrong class for over half of the academic session. When eventually I was transferred to the right class, I noticed a couple of things about this class (I'll write about it sometimes in the future.) and It was actually impossible not to notice this young, confident and vibrant young boy. I was actually sat right behind him, and we became friends. I also noticed this girl who always had a beret on, (Which was kinda uncommon in our class back then). She was beautiful, and had this lovely smile which was infectious.
The boy was "T" while the girl was"F". Before the end of our first year of school, there were lots of hook-ups in our class, as we had begun to notice the characters of each other, and get to know each other better.
"T" and "F" were mutually attracted to one another, but didn't exactly go into an official relationship, although they were as good as being a couple. They were even closer and more cute than most known couple in the class back then. But then, instead of openly showing affection for one another, they'll engage in public argument, and consistently take opposing sides on almost every discussion, but the chemistry between them was very visible to everyone.
After we finished secondary school, I, "T" and "F" got closer than before, and they still didn't have any official relationship, although they both admitted to having feelings for one another.
As I and "F" got closer, I began to have feelings for her, as I began noticing more positive sides of her, and I'll admit, she got even more beautiful (I don't know how that's even possible, because she was already too beautiful before.)
I believed if I leave this feeling unattended to, it will die a natural death, but each time we talked, chat, or I saw her pictures, I loved her even more. If she was somebody else, I will probably have told her about my feelings for her, but she is suppose to be in a relationship with my Best friend "T".
 I believe asking her out will amount to betraying the confidence and trust of My Best-Friend, although they never dated, and I don't see that happening soon, but then even if I date get to date her, I have this premonition, that she'll always compare me to "T" which might prove disastrous for our relationship, and cause constant conflict between "T" and I, which is something I'll rather avoid.
If I was to advice someone else who was in this same predicament, it may be easy doing that, but right now, I've decided to keep shunning my feelings, and remain best of friends with both "T" and "F". And this has also made me have a change of heart in the way I give people relationship advice.