Showing posts with label What is Love?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label What is Love?. Show all posts

Monday, 7 May 2012

Am I Addicted To Love?

That Should be Me and My Miss in the Picture.


 Suddenly, everywhere I turn, I'm confronted with something that reminds me of Love (Not sex, please, there is a difference. We'll talk on that later.)
 My old crushes are showing up everywhere I turn, Female friends I have are suddenly seeming more hotter, (or cooler, depending on which generation you belong to.) And I'm meeting new female friends who are not helping my plight at all.
 I literally use to close my eyes whenever I see a really cute couple, but in recent times, that has been impossible. As much as I'll like to put an excuse to this, there is a fact that is impossible to ignore. I am getting older, (I actually turned 20 years old this year) and so are my friends. Thanks to my more developed mental capacity, physical attribute assessment and appreciation capacity, and most importantly, but also most dangerous of all is some hormone advancement. (I don't know the name for this hormones, because I'm not much of a science guy.)
I've come to some conclusion, hoping this will help in alleviating my plight.
 Firstly, I'll probably get a very soon. But there is a big challenge here. Thanks to the many beautiful, intelligent , mature, selfless, and motherly-hearted female friends I have, who I happen to be very close to, It is almost impossible for me to find a girl who can perfectly, or preferably, finely combine most of the positive attributes of my female friends. It is going to be very difficult, if not impossible for any girl to meet this high standard of perfection, which this girls have built in my mind. But then maybe I will meet a girl, who will make me just forget about all these standards and conditions altogether.
 Secondly, I might have to stop being friends with all my female friends, Maybe this will help me ignore more of my emotional need for companionship. But this might boomerang, as it might leave a bigger vacuum, making me an emotional wreck in the process, thereby hastening me to take a wrong decision of getting a girlfriend. In which case, I might end up getting the wrong girl.
 Thirdly, I will like to get married next year. I have told this to a couple of friends, and after listening to my argument, some have bought the idea, while others have out-rightly advised me against it. Which girl in her right mind will happen to marry a 21 year old guy, (I'll be 21 years old next year), who doesn't have a fortune to his name, (But he does have big ambitions), and is not even a university graduate yet. By my estimate, I will probably have to marry someone about three to five years older than I am, As most girls my age-mate still want to live their live, have fun, and be independent. What they want in a relationship is different from what I want. But if I'm lucky, I might just find a special "someone" who wants to begin to live her life with her "Soul-mate" early enough, to have th advantage of being "Pure, Innocent, or simply all the advantages of being a couple."
 Actually, I'll prefer if I find a girl who fits my "Dream-Girl Description", I date her, and she gets along well with my friends (male and female) as well as my family. Then Next year, probably August, we get married, and "Live Happily Ever After".

Thursday, 29 March 2012

The Love(S) Of My Life



 I've never been one for keeping much friends, and interestingly, until I finished secondary school, I hardly kept a friend for period of five years, circumstantial incidence made it impossible to remain friends with the same person for such a period of time.
 But in the midst of it all, I've always had some special persons, with whom I've been a lot closer to, this people were more than friends to me, they were more than siblings, they were more like a part of me. This people defined my life and made me what I am today, I owe them a lot of appreciation (and maybe some blames). Among these people, I'm proud to say I've met some beautiful, Intelligent, Interesting and simply wonderful girls. 
 Due to my unusual close relationship with these lovely girls (and ladies) over the years, a lot of people believed I must have dated a number of them (I Wish I Did), but our relationship was mostly platonic, innocent, care-free, and fun.
 I've decided to write about them for posterity sake, so everyone who reads this will know them, (hopefully one or all of them also get to read this). And for anyone who recognizes any of these girls, "Congrats". While for every other reader, I'll use their initials instead of their names.

M: M was the very first girl I'll say I had a special something for, We met in the primary school, probably before we turned seven years old, we were part of a three man gang, with the third person being my best friend at that time, a boy who goes by the name of J. 
M was special to me, as she was easily the most beautiful and most intelligent girl I knew back then, All the good memories I have of that school has M in them, after I left the school, I didn't see her for over ten years, but recently, I met a mutual friend who has her contact details, I intend to renew contact with her in the next couple of weeks. Maybe this time, I'll take my chances and ask to take our "Friendship" beyond "Friendship".
(The most intriguing aspect of M and I is that we were a part of each other's childhood, were best of friends, and our innocence in the midst of such a wonderful relationship is what I love the most about our friendship)

E.E: E was this my class mate at the second primary school I attended, she was the quiet type, not very confident, but what she lacked in confidence, she made up for with intelligence. We were very close until we finished primary school, people even made jokes of her being my wife.
We parted ways after our primary school days, I saw her a couple of times after that, but didn't talk much, but I'll admit, she looked better each time I saw her (I don't know how that's possible).
I hope to meet her one day, even if we'll be nothing more than friends, I think it'll be worth the time and effort.

JC.O: After I spent the whole of my years in Junior Secondary School avoiding girls like a plague, I got to Senior Secondary School, and there I met the most perfect combination of beauty and brain I had ever seen in my life (at that time), She was one of the most popular girls in our class/session, she was not only beautiful and brilliant, but she was also friendly and open minded, she listened to everyone's opinion around her, was a natural leader, and very humble.
This attracted me to her, and although we did not talk much in our school days, after finishing secondary school, we got to know each other better, and became better friends. I learnt a lot from her (I still do). Happily enough, we are still friends (although I'll love it if we'll be more than that) and I hope we remain best of friends for ever.
She changed and upgraded my standard for measuring girls, raising my expectations, and helping me to relate better with girls.

D: Soon after I got into Senior Secondary School, I meet a girl online, she stays outside of Lagos state, but I still wanted to be friends, so we kept in contact. Over the years, we got to know each other better, shared a lot of memories as well as secrets. I learnt a lot of things from her, as she opened up herself to me, making me do the same. She taught me a new type of trust, making me trust in a way I had never done before.
She changed my perception of things, teaching me to see things from the female point of view, helping me understand the female-folk better, making me a better man in the process. We were actually closer than most couples I knew around. From what I understood from her and other couples, I think there's a probability we might have been closer, or shared more than she did with her boyfriend.
I always wonder, if she was staying in Lagos, or someplace closer, and not half way across the country, Maybe, just maybe we will have dated.
I'll always be grateful to her for curing a better percentage of my naivety, making me more trusting, more knowledgeable, more experienced, and a better man.
I Love her very much, and we'll always be best of friends (I hope my wife agrees) .

B: When I got to Senior Secondary School, We also moved to a new house, I had a neighbor who lived just a couple of houses away, someone I'll normally never talk to, but we had something in common, our love for books. I grew up reading everything that I came across, from novels to textbooks, to newspapers, to magazines, just anything written or printed. I was not selective (except it had to do with figures, basically I was kinda allergic to mathematics).
And here I was in a new location, with basically no social skills, and I saw this girl who I never saw without a novel. We hit it up from there, became best of friends (Which I still don't understand how, cause we're very different). 
She was my new source of novels and textbooks cause we were in the same class (but different schools). We had a lot of memorable and intelligent conversations. And she made me see another view of the female folk. She helped me develop my social skills, making me more receptive of people, and brought out more of the interactive person in me.
We'll remain best of friends for a long time (maybe forever, or until I get a wife) as she's proven herself to be very knowledgeably, as well as being resourceful.

C: This is most unexpected inclusion on this list, I knew her all through my Secondary School days, She was always in the next class to mine, we saw each other basically everyday, but hardly ever spoke with each other, but there are some facts I'll admit to, Firstly, she's very beautiful, also, she's very intelligent, finally, she's a friendly person, but we were never friends.
Until recently, (Over two years after secondary school) I was repeatedly visiting my best friend, and her house was just a few streets away. I saw her almost every time I went to visit him, as she was friends with his elder sister.
We began to speak with each other, and became kinda friendly, now I know her a little better, and I can actually say she might be "The One".

All this people are part of my history, they are a part of me, and have contributed immensely in making me what I am today. 
To everyone of you I want to say a big "THANK YOU", God bless you all, an "I Love You All".

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

I Think I'm Love Sick.




 The last couple of weeks has been the best and worst weeks of my life, but beneath it all, I have suddenly been having the most unusual feeling in my heart.
 It's something I've never felt before, It's so intense I find it impossible to ignore the feeling. I actually spent all my life ignoring and denying any feeling that might feel like love. I practically kill the feeling before it even buds.
 But in the last couple of weeks, I've been consistently been faced with this feeling again and again. But the only problem is I'm having the feeling for more than one person, it seems everyone I ever had special feelings for are suddenly showing up in my life, looking even more beautiful than they looked years ago, they sounded a lot more intelligent than they use too, and worse of it is they are not avoiding me, they all remain receptive and friendly towards me, and I'm continually feeling blessed to have them in my life.
 Only problem is out of about seven to ten people I'm having feelings for, I can only date one of them, as I have no intention of double dating or cheating on anyone, and I also want to have the right person as my date, as I don't want my present decision to have negative impact on me or anyone i the future.
 So I've decided to leave all of them and see which of them would get into a relationship with someone else, thereby reducing my options. But I have my fears.
 What if the person left actually has no interest in me? What if they all get into relationships before I can get back to them? What if I keep meeting more people like them, and I'm constantly having multiple options?
 I'll tell you all about each of these girls at a later time, but until then, I'll leave everything in God's hands.

Photo Of The Day: 27-MARCH-2012

I LOVE YOU

Today's Photo is all about LOVE, it is simply another creative way to say I LOVE YOU.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Love 101: What Is Love?


(Before reading this piece, I strongly advice you get a copy of today's Song Of The Day, Bob Marley's I s This Love? a.k.a "I wanna Love You". It will help you understand, flow with and articulate this piece.)
Love is easily one of the most misused words in the history of mankind, it is defined in different way by different people, under different context, and in different circumstances.
Everyone has his/her own definition of what love is, but it remains one of the most difficult questions to answer, I'll try my best to answer it, you might not agree with my definition, but feel free to tell us what love means to you.
Love is the indescribable feeling of unexplainable connection between two individuals.
It's not describable, cos it's a feeling that's just impossible to be appropriately described, and it's unexplainable cos it's better felt and expressed than explained.


I made a compilation of my favorite definitions and description of what love, (which I've culled from different internet posts over the years) and I'm happy to share it with you.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,
'What does love mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined
See what they think:


'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'



WHAT IS LOVE?
LOVE IS:
The strongest feeling known
The all-compassing passion
An extreme strength
An overwhelming excitement

LOVE IS:
Trying not to hurt the other person
Trying not to change the other person
Trying not to dominate the other person
Trying not to deceive the other person

LOVE IS:
Understanding each other
Listening to each other
Supporting each other
Having fun with each other.


One Baptist preacher has aptly said:
“Love is not a namby-pamby, loosy-goosy, warm and fuzzy feeling. That’s Hollywood love. That’s sub-teen puppy love.. . . Love is not a warm glow in the gut; that’s probably heartburn. . . . Love is more than tender words and affectionate glances. Love is more than gracious gestures, good table manners, and finely-tuned social skills. Love is more than feel-good.Love is self-sacrifice. Love is giving beyond what you have to give and moving into what you want to give.”


 "Where There’s Love.":

Where There’s Love . . .
There’s an elegance of simplicity
An affluence of frugality
And a display of humility
Where There’s Love . . .
It is home in its true place
Even outside its own race
Destined there by divine grace
Where There’s Love . . .
It calms every fear
Provides a listening ear
And wipes the sobbing tear
Where There’s Love . . .
Compassion is its fight
Gentleness is its might
And forgiveness is its right
Where There’s Love . . .
Its friendship is very real
Risking all is no big deal
For helpfulness is its zeal
Where There’s Love . . .
Innocence is its age
Childlike trust is its face
And patience is its pace
Where There’s Love . . .
It finds excuses to share
And offers a daily prayer
For God to keep it from care


In conclusion, Love is more than what most people take it to be, in subsequent posts, we'll talk more about what love is, and what it is not.


It is best we stop striving to define love, and instead look for an appropriate way to express it.

Remember.....
God Is Love....
Love Is All.