It's Not Always About Winning

Serena Williams, Venus Williams and Roger Federer

 It is funny where one can pick up some of life most important lessons. All my life, I've been a big fan of Tennis, although I've never watched a complete tennis match, either live, or on T.V. I only watch the highlights. But I still enjoy it.
 All that affection only grew when I could recognize two face, Venus and Serena Williams. Although they are not exactly the most beautiful ladies I've met, but they are actually my all time favorite female tennis players, I love them to bits.
 Recently, I began to under the technical aspect of tennis, that was when I fell in love with the playing style of Roger Federer. Unlike Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic, He is not exactly a power player, or speed player, but instead an intelligent player, probably the most intelligent tennis player of all time.
 This trio made me appreciate the beauty of the game, and made me follow the game more passionately.
 The most important lesson I learned from watching the three of them play is that There is a lot of lesson that can be learned from losing a game, or an incident. In life, if we can stop crying over spilled milk, or hurting over losing, or concentrating on the harsh part of life, we can actually learn a lot by enjoying every moment, watching the way the winner get things done, or even stop fighting it when we realize it will surely be futile, instead of quitting, we should continue trying, while learning from our actions what it is that we are doing wrong.
 Another lesson I learned is that the odds might not always favor you, but your fate is actually in your hands. Like recently, I learned Serena and Venus had this infection or illness that made them get fatigued easily, but they still fought against the odds, and when everyone believed their career was coming to an end, and all their fans wanted them to retire, so they wouldn't continue losing, therefore saving them from any possible disgrace, but instead they fought back, and one of them went on to win the Wimbledon Open, as well as the Olympic. While both of won the women doubles. I hope one of them wins the New York Open.
 Even in Victory, they are always magnanimous, cheering up their opponents, to make them feel important, and even make them know that they are respected and appreciated.
 If I were in a tennis game against any of these three all time greats, I surely won't be fighting back when I'm one set down and losing the second set by three points, I'll just focus on learning and enjoying myself.For those of you who care to know, Serena and Venus are actually on my list of Celebrity Crushes, but one thing for sure, I'll forever enjoying watching them, even if they are in the twilight of their career, but Serena and Roger seems to be enjoying a resurgence in performance.
 I'll always love and respect these all time greats.

Is It Worth It?

Is It Worth It?

To me, this is one of the most important question anyone and everyone should ask himself before taking any action, or decision.
Most times, what we benefit from what we do is not worth the price we paid for it, and we only realize this after paying the price (But in Life, the price we pay for our actions are non refundable).
From the moment we are born, we are made to realize that life is a race, and only the tough survive, and in the process of building up our toughness, dexterity, experience and ultimately success, we build and destroy relationship with different people, making contacts as well as losing some, but each relationship is unique in it's own way.
There is family, friends, business partnership, playmates, school and classmates, co-workers, spouses, and many other relationship. Although most people will not stay permanently in our life, The mistake most people make is not realizing who was meant to be permanent or temporal in their lives. We sell out those that were meant to be permanent, and keep those that are meant to be temporal, and only realize our mistake late in life, when it is almost impossible to correct this.
To me, Family is the most important relationship, from your parents and siblings, to your spouse, then your children, and friends. This people should never be sacrificed in your quest for success, because when you fall, they are meant to be there to catch you. But when you push them away, they'll have no room to be by your side and give you the necessary support.
Finally, if at any time you realize that you might have pushed away your family, or true friends, never feel ashamed to apologize to them (Preferably in person, and not on phone or email).
Never forget this, Your relationship with people will one day prove to be your most valuable possession.

You Don't Know Me (KEEP QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

You Don't Know Me

 There is nothing more annoying than seeing someone who knows nothing about me telling the story of my life. It truly is epically annoying.
 In trying to say what he knows nothing about, He ends up using assumptions, and jumping to conclusions.
 In the process of doing this he shows off his ignorance and misinformation. The way he goes about telling this story is even more hurting, as He'll speak confidently and authoritatively, thereby misleading and misinforming his audience.
 That's why when I meet someone who tells me "Mr A" said such and such about you, I have to take the time to correct whatever wrong notion such an individual might have placed in him.
 If You heard something bad about someone you know, when You meet him, don't begin to accuse Him, instead, ask for his own view, opinion, or chronicle of event. You might have been misinformed out of Ignorance, Jealousy, or just Mischief. Don't allow the lies of someone else destroy the cordial relationship you have with someone else.
 Finally, If you're asked a question about me, and You don't know the answer, tell your questioner that you do not know, or simply keep quiet.
If You don't know me, It's not an offense, but when you lie about me, Then It becomes an offense.

Man's Quest For Perfection.

 Since time immemorial, Man's desire has been to be the best among his peers, to meet the needs of his family and all his benefactors, to be the best at what he does, and many other things.
 But over the years, we've come to term the achievement of this goals as diffrent things, Goodness, Greatness, Awesomeness, and finally Perfection. 
 Considering the difficulty in acheiving this lofty heights and aspiration, people generally come to the conclussion that acheiving perfection is impossible.
 That happens to be the first and biggest mistake most people make, their belief that perfection is impossible to attain puts a big limitations ontheir life, thoughts, beliefs, behavior and relationship.
 But I've learnt a lesson over the years, our defination of perfection and success differs, and it's more about what works for you, as well as it's relationship and function to you and everyone with you.
 It might be difficult or totally impossible to please everyone, but if you are able to get to some level of expertise at the things that matter the most to you, then you've attained perfection.
 Basically, as a guy, perfection is being able to take good care of your family, being a good and faithful husband to your wife, a good father to your children, being able to share a couple of interest, time and meaningful conversation with your wife and kids, Being good up to the required level of professionalism at your job, taking good care of your parent, as well as you In-Laws, Being a good friend to all your friends, contributing positively to the lives of everyone around you, and giving a helping hand to anyone you can.
 In doing this, you might step on people's toes, displease some people, and fail to satisfy everyone. But if these people do not have direct consequences on the outcome of your actions, then you are on the right path.
 Remember, You can not please everyone, But in your little way, you can make you touch, maybe not in everyone's life, but atleast in the life of those that matter to you.
 Perfection is Possible, Impossiblity is Nothing, It is all in your mindset.

Song Of The Day: Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All

 Learning to Love yourself, Is the "Greatest Love Of All". This is one of the many lessons I learned from this timeless music.
 This is easily the greatest song Whitney Houston ever did, and to me, it remains one of the best song ever written in the history of mankind, both lyrically, production wise, and i any other way a music can be ranked.
 This song is loaded with endless lessons, right from the first line to the last, and it seems every line is actually filled with a timeless lessons.
 Please, even if you wouldn't listen to the song, please, take timeout to read the lyrics, it might change actually change your perception of Life forever.
 I strongly believe that if people will live by the principles outlined in this music, then we'll have a world filled with happier and more loving people.
 Remember, "The Greatest Love of All is Inside of You".

Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All (Video)

Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All (Live Performance "Grammy Awards, 1986")

Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All (Audio)

Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All (Lyrics)

Forgiveness VS Revenge

 Since time immemorial, it has been man's nature to offend his fellow man, this he does by word of mouth, or by action. But the question has always been after the offense, what next.....

 Are you supposed to let the culprit/offender go scot free, or do you avenge his actions? This is a question that has bewildered humanity since the beginning of time.

 Our reaction to this offense is affected by a lot of circumstances, like what is the gravity of the offense? where did it happen? who were those present there? Who committed the offense? and many other factors.

 Deciding to revenge most times seems the right and logical thing to do, you feel if I don't exert my revenge, people will see me as a weak person, and others will want to treat me in the same manner this offender did. But if I revenge his acts, people will accept that I'm a tough guy, and they''ll stay out of my way, they'll never want to cross paths with me.
 The only problem is this, your revenge might lead to other chain reactions, leading to a back and forth exchange of offenses and revenges. Whereras, forgiving the offender will make him respect you, he'll see you in a new light, as the bigger fellow, who can put past incidents behind him and forge intp the future.
 Sometimes, someone offends us unkowingly, and it never crosses his mind to apologise, as he's not aware of your reaction or view to his action, and you are plotting to revenge on him.
 It is actually more profitable to forgive an offender than to exert revenge on him, cos in most instances, it takes and cost nothing  to forgive, while you'll actually spend time and mental capacity, (and sometimes even money) to plot out a revenge.
 When you forgive someone, your heart carries less burden, and you can focus you mental as well as physical and finacial capacity into other profitable ventures.
 In most cases, it will do you more good than loss or hurt to Forgive, than to Revenge.
Remember a line of the "The Lord's Prayer" which says....
"And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. " Luke 11 : 24

Love 101: What Is Love?

(Before reading this piece, I strongly advice you get a copy of today's Song Of The Day, Bob Marley's I s This Love? a.k.a "I wanna Love You". It will help you understand, flow with and articulate this piece.)
Love is easily one of the most misused words in the history of mankind, it is defined in different way by different people, under different context, and in different circumstances.
Everyone has his/her own definition of what love is, but it remains one of the most difficult questions to answer, I'll try my best to answer it, you might not agree with my definition, but feel free to tell us what love means to you.
Love is the indescribable feeling of unexplainable connection between two individuals.
It's not describable, cos it's a feeling that's just impossible to be appropriately described, and it's unexplainable cos it's better felt and expressed than explained.

I made a compilation of my favorite definitions and description of what love, (which I've culled from different internet posts over the years) and I'm happy to share it with you.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,
'What does love mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined
See what they think:

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

WHAT IS LOVE?
LOVE IS:
The strongest feeling known
The all-compassing passion
An extreme strength
An overwhelming excitement

LOVE IS:
Trying not to hurt the other person
Trying not to change the other person
Trying not to dominate the other person
Trying not to deceive the other person

LOVE IS:
Understanding each other
Listening to each other
Supporting each other
Having fun with each other.

One Baptist preacher has aptly said:
“Love is not a namby-pamby, loosy-goosy, warm and fuzzy feeling. That’s Hollywood love. That’s sub-teen puppy love.. . . Love is not a warm glow in the gut; that’s probably heartburn. . . . Love is more than tender words and affectionate glances. Love is more than gracious gestures, good table manners, and finely-tuned social skills. Love is more than feel-good.Love is self-sacrifice. Love is giving beyond what you have to give and moving into what you want to give.”

 "Where There’s Love.":

Where There’s Love . . .
There’s an elegance of simplicity
An affluence of frugality
And a display of humility
Where There’s Love . . .
It is home in its true place
Even outside its own race
Destined there by divine grace
Where There’s Love . . .
It calms every fear
Provides a listening ear
And wipes the sobbing tear
Where There’s Love . . .
Compassion is its fight
Gentleness is its might
And forgiveness is its right
Where There’s Love . . .
Its friendship is very real
Risking all is no big deal
For helpfulness is its zeal
Where There’s Love . . .
Innocence is its age
Childlike trust is its face
And patience is its pace
Where There’s Love . . .
It finds excuses to share
And offers a daily prayer
For God to keep it from care

In conclusion, Love is more than what most people take it to be, in subsequent posts, we'll talk more about what love is, and what it is not.


It is best we stop striving to define love, and instead look for an appropriate way to express it.

Remember.....
God Is Love....
Love Is All.

Child Abuse and Women Molesting.

I know it's the start of a week-end, and everyone have activated their relaxation mode,  but while trying to pick a "Song For The Day", I played a couple of songs, and then I listened to Luda Cris and Mary J. Blige's Runaway Love.
That song just changed my day, it opened my eyes to an obvious fact, which most of us see everyday, but may of us have succeeded in silencing our conscience whenever it points this out to us.
Child Abuse and Women Molesting is now a common sight in our society, and many of us are doing nothing to stop it, we feel "if it does not affect me, then it does not concern me". but this is wrong.
There is a saying that "evil triumphs if the good people do nothing about it", and another one that says "Where you live should not decide if you live". but this is becoming a norm in different part of the world.
As I listened to this song, (Runaway Love), I'm reminded of one of my literature text in secondary school, "The Joys Of Motherhood" written by "Buchi Emecheta".
I am constantly witnessing violence against women and children, and worst of all, the Female Child. I call upon all government all around the world, willing NGOs, and every individual, to always lend his voice and support to anyone being victimized. You can also search for NGOs that render help to victims of abuse and molestation, and seek for ways you can be of help to them. Report all culprits to the police, and the police should not treat such cases with Levity.
To every woman, Lady, Child or Girl out there, who is a victim of violence and abuse, seek help, report to the nearest police station, as well as all relevant government agencies. Please, Seek for help, don't loose your life to a heartless person who does not value you. And any woman who is in an abusive relationship should quit, no matter what you stand to gain or lose, it's not worth you losing your beauty, body part, or even life for.
May God be your help and refuge, And may His grace be Sufficient for you. (Amen)

Song Of The Day: Run-Away Love - Luda Chris and Mary J. Blige

To me, this remain one of the most powerful song Luda Chris ever did. Mary J. Blige also did a good job of adding very powerful emotions into the song.
I'm not usually caught up in emotional songs (Well, most of the time) but you just can't help listening to the lyrics and feeling sorry for the little girls in the song.
The song has captivating story-lines, and it's easy to hear each word spoken by Luda. The chorus is simple and easy to memorize and understand (It could get caught in your head).
I think this song teaches a whole lot of moral lessons, asks a lot of questions, and brings the attention of it's listeners to a very salient issue, "The Abuse Of The Female Child".
I say a prayer to every girl and child going through any of the scenarios in the song, I pray that God delivers you, and give you the strength to overcome your hours of travails.
And to every child molester and abuser out there, desist from the act, or Judgement and punishment will befall you, both on earth, and in Eternity.

Run-Away Love - Luda Chris and Mary J. Blige (Video)

Run-Away Love - Luda Chris and Mary J. Blige (Lyrics)

Run-Away Love - Luda Chris and Mary J. Blige (Audio)

Only Me???

I've never been one for having much friends, despite the fact I've always had a lot of people around me. I'm even surprised when I show up at a place and people greet me and I'm like, "sorry, have we meet before". some people think I'm being proud or do not want to acknowledge them, they don't know I actually find it difficult to remember faces.
In spite of this fact, I actually rely heavily on my friends, and trust them with all of my secrets. I'll never do something without seeking the opinion of at least two friends, and thankfully, their opinions a=have proved really valuable to me.
But then, I sometimes try to imagine if I'd never meet one of my friends, each time I do this, the picture always look incomplete, even the most distant of my friends and the long lost ones, their opinion have proved priceless at different times in my lives, and I'll remain forever grateful to every one of them.
I wouldn't be who I am without the contribution of each of you, I sometime look at my life as a collection of bits and piece of different people, and I can actually point at these people and say I am proud of them.
So, to all my inestimable friend, friends of endless and priceless virtues, I want to say a BIG "THANK YOU" to everyone of you.
Thank you for making me the person I am to you, I constantly pray for your well being everyday, and pray God grant everyone of you your heart desires.
God bless you all. (Amen).

Song Of The Day: 2Face- Only Me

This song became a second National anthem in Nigeria, and it had ripple effect across Africa. When this song was released by 2Face Idibia, the whole of Africa stood up to acknowledge a true son of the soil.
The song went on to win multiple awards in Nigeria and across Africa, making it one of his all time fans favorite (Maybe second only to his earlier release, "African Queen").
If I was asked to rank 2Faces song, I'll rank Appreciate it as Number 1, Only Me as Number 2, and one other one as number 3, but most ladies in Africa would always rank African Queen as his all time best song, (But I have a problem with that, well, I'm not a girl).
But Only Me is like a song of consolation to those still at the bottom of the socio-economic ladder, letting them realize that they could still make it, and telling those who were already successful to treat others with respect as as the guys at the bottom might be at the top in the future.
The song as a comical feel to it, as it's tells of the boredom that will be apparent in the life of a millionaire, if he has no one to spend the money with. But it's a true fact, wealth is best enjoyed if it is being shared with friends and people we care about.
Ladies and Gentlemen I present to You, from one of Africa's finest, From the best selling album, Unstoppable (International Version).
Join me and enjoy the song for today, "ONLY ME".

Song Of The Day: 2Face- Only Me(Video)

Song Of The Day: 2Face- Only Me(Audio)

Song Of The Day: 2Face- Only Me(Lyrics)

Reminiscing (Nursery and Primary School)

Today, I spent time reminiscing over my bitter-sweet memories of the first formal school I attended. (I think it's the second or third, but I'm not sure). I remember being inquisitive, and wanting to know "the story behind the story".
I always wanted to know why black is black, and white is white. In the process of doing this, I meet some of the greatest individuals ever (in my innocent mind). I'll spend the next couple of paragraphs talking about my childhood friends.
I remember as a kid, I had two close friends, and we were more or less triplets, at school, you can hardly find one of us without the other two, there was Junior, Mubo (or Sumbo, I'm not exactly sure of the name anymore), and there was me. Junior was one of the most intelligent boys in my class, while Mubo was, and still remains one of the most beautiful, and most intellient girls I've ever meet.
At this point in my life, we were less than seven years old, and every one of us acted with the innocence of our childhood knowledge, and our minds were unpolluted with the serious stuffs of life.
Mubo lived next to the school, while Junior's house was just a stone throw from school, but my house was kinda far from school, but I can remember spending a reasonable amount of time at the house of the both of them, and I can remember going to Junior's house with Mubo before school resumed in the morning, and sharing in a plate of rice, stew and fried plantain. (in my innocent mind, it still remain one of the sweetest plate of food I ever eat outside of home). And there were still loads of other fun things we did together.
After leaving the school in primary two or three, They were what I missed the most at my new school, and I still miss them much till now. i sometimes wonder what my life will turn out like if I had remained at the same school with them, maybe I and Junior will remain best of friends, and maybe, just maybe, I might be dating Mubo now,  that's if Junior isn't dating her already (Since I've come of age, I always fancied my chances with her, and what we'll look like as a couple). I know they would have influenced my choices of other friends, education, relationships and career. One thing for sure, with them remaining in my life, my life would surely be different, (hopefully positively) but still, I'll give anything to go back in time and go through my teenage years with them.
They remain an essential part of the story of my life, and I'm actually making moves to reconnect with them once again, (thanks to a mutual friend) and I hope they have also made remarkable progress inlife.
Mubo and Junior, I've always prayed for you, and will continue praying for you.
I pray you achieve your dreams, and live up to your potentials.
I hope to see you guys soon, and tell the world more of your greatness.
I've always and will always miss you(until we hook-up again).
May God continually keep and protect you.
I miss you and Love you. God bless you.

Song Of The Day: Nneka - My Home

From her recent Album, "Soul is Heavy" we'll be listening tonight to Nneka's "My Home"
.This is a song that talks about returning to the roots.
In life, we sometimes leave our "Home" or "place of comfort" in search of adventure, love, experience, money, fame, and other things. In the process of doing this, we sometimes sacrifice the relationships we have built over the years and make new ones.
Sometimes, this new relationship proves to be profitable,  and even better than the previous ones while at other times, it proves dastardly, disastrous, and ends up as a costly mistake.
At such time, we go back to our "First love" to find comfort and refuge. Our earlier friends and companions do not reject us, they welcome us with open hands and hearts, they help us through our grieving and healing process, make us better than we were, and make us emerge from each experience as a stronger person.
Whatever you do, always remember, "make new friends, but keep the old ones".

Nneka - My Home (Video)

Nneka - My Home (Lyrics)

Song Of The Day: Asa- Preacher Man

This is a song describing how a lady who used to be a saint, becomes a sinner, and wants to come back to become a saint.
This songs fully tells the story of Asa'a album, "Beautiful Imperfection"
It tells how one might fall from grace, but he'll still have the choice of rising back up, or remaining at the bottom.

Asa- Preacher Man (Live Performance)

Asa- Preacher Man (Lyrics)

Double Birth Day Wishes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JACINTA

Today is one of the Happiest days of my lives, Two of my best friends are celebrating their birthday, and I'm very happy for them.
I may not have a lot of friends, But I've learned to value the few friends that I have, and I've never regretted having anyone of them as a friend.
Celebrating their Birthday today are Timothy and Jacinta. Interestingly, they were both born on the same day, in the same year, and have me as a friend in common, but to the best of my knowledge have never meet each other, still they remain two of the greatest friends I've ever had.
I met Timothy through his relationship with my elder brother, and he has been like an elder brother to me, teaching me stuffs I might never learn from anyone else, and giving me priceless advice that have helped in shaping my life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TIMOTHY

I met Jacinta in the first year of my senior secondary school. (High School) We didn't become best of friends immediately, but I had a lot of admiration and respect for her, because not only was she beautiful, but she was also well behaved and Highly intelligent. This made me yearn to know more about her, and over the years I had the privilege of getting closer to her, and knowing her better, she became my friend and confidant, and I'm happy and will forever cherish every moment I spent with her (Speaking, chatting, calling or visiting.)
To two of my greatest friends ever (and my long time crush) I wish you both a Happy Birthday.
With long life filled with Joy, Satisfaction, Love, Success, and everything your Heart desires.
From a caring friend, to two Priceless Friends, I say a big....
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!" 

The Police Is Your Friend.

That is one thing you'll find on the walls of every police-station in Nigeria (as well as "Bail is Free.") This has hardly ever been true, except in miraculously exceptional cases, but in recent days, this statement is becoming true.
The average Nigerian is almost tempted to run whenever he sees a policeman, and this is thanks to endless cases of police brutality, victimization, bribery and extortion. This is even made worse with the slow reaction of the police to crisis calls, as well as delay in execution of justice, as well as the slow pace of most police investigations.
But it seems things are changing, as the new Inspector-General of police has made it a personal mission to change the face of the police force, with his ban of "check-point" almost every Nigerian is singing his praise, and are beginning to have faith in the police-force once again.
If this positive trend continues, and the crime rate is significantly reduced all over the country, then every Nigerian will begin to see the Police as His/Her friend and will no longer fear them, but love and respect them.

Respect The Female-Folks. Please!!!

N.B: This is not my write-up, I shared it because I share the view of the writer, and wanted everyone to see this.

I stumbled across this comic a couple of weeks ago and all I could say was “Amen!” This illustrator really and truly gets it.

And by “it,” I mean what it’s like to be a victim of street harassment. For most of us by the time we’ve hit puberty, (if not before), we’ve been subjected to the cat calls, the tactless pick up lines, the comments on our boobs and backsides more times than we’d like to remember.

I’ll never forget being in the mall with my mother one weekend. Wearing a pair of colorful denim shorts, I had to have been about eleven or twelve. We were near a jewelry kiosk when a man on a cell phone interrupted his conversation to state to no one in particular, “Whew, look at that ass.” The ass he was referring to was mine.

That was the first time a grown man had ever made public mention of my body. As a girl I used to daydream about what it would be like to gain the attention of the male kind. It just knew it would be flattering, intimate, and welcomed. Suggestive, yet respectful.

The complete opposite of that mall interaction.

As women, I don’t have to tell you that such attention is annoying, threatening and worst of all degrading. I wish I could say that the foolishness stopped there; but that would be a lie, it only got worse. Today, every time I leave my apartment, I put on what I call my “don’t f*ck with me” face and hit the streets of New York. As much as I loathe the winter, I can’t help but be grateful that my puffy, mid-calf length coat curbs some of the harassment. But not all of it.

Last winter, I stepped out around 6:30 p.m. on what had to have been the coldest night of the year. Ever conscious of my grandmother’s pneumonia warnings, I was bundled up like no other. Literally, the only things visible were my eyes. And still, a man getting off the bus, couldn’t restrain himself. “Aye.” And then louder, when I ignored him, “AYE!”

All I could think of was let me get as far away from this fool as fast as possible. Later, when my fear subsided, I realized these men must not understand how threatening their hollas, their “compliments” can actually be. In reality, I’d guess that most street hollerers aren’t dangerous. They’re just horny men who’ve had luck with that approach a time or two and therefore continue to use it on any and every woman who catches their eye. And that’s the problem.

Didn’t this man getting off the bus that night realize that I was a woman alone on the street, in the dark? Why would he feel that situation was the time to try to approach me, a complete stranger? How many rape scenes resemble that scenario?

I fear that the  street “hollerers” aren’t the only men who don’t get it. As the comic illustrated, when you tell a “regular dude” about the happenings of your day, don’t be surprised if he responds in complete ignorance. This has happened to me personally. He literally said, “I would love for women to hit on me in the street.”

Sure, men don’t receive compliments on their physical appearance like women do and they think that sucks. But they don’t know how good they have it. It’s not complimentary, it’s threatening. What wouldn’t I give to walk the streets in peace? The point is, many men lack a general awareness of how exhausting it can be to just have a vagina in public.

I know I don’t speak for just myself when I say that as women, we spend a lot of our time out on high alert.

As sad as it may seem, there’s always this sickening cognizance and fear of what could happen if you’re not as aware as you should be, if you take a wrong turn, if you walk past the wrong person at the wrong time, hell, if you’re with the wrong person at the wrong time.

As great as it is being a woman, it’s scary too. If more men knew this, I like to think they’d be less inclined to assault us on the street.





What I Think?
I read this article on a website known as Madamenoire.com and I wanted to express my opinion on it.
As a responsible guy, It hurts me seeing other guys acting like this, for goodness sake, this girls/ladies are not a walking sex target, they deserve respect for the important roles they play in our lives, and if you can't approach a lady in a courteous and responsible manner, then you are not desreving of her.
Also, if you do approach her, and she rebuffs your advances, respect her decison. She doesn't have to give you a reason for turning you down, and she owes you no explanation. You know fully well that she might be in a relationship, or she might not be ready for one, or she simply does not fancy herself and you as a couple. So leave her and let her be.
You don't have to resort to threatening or trolling her.
And to every lady who has suffered this savage like-like behaviour from guys in the past (or in the future) I tender an unreserved appology to you all.
To all the guys out there, thank you for acting gentlemanly, and all the ladies, understand that not all guys will act like this, while some guys actually mean no harm, but still "We Are All Sorry."
God bless you all.

WHAT I HATE THE MOST?

There are somethings which I just find "Impossible" to bear. Some people might feel the word "HATE" might be too strong to describe these feelings, but trust me, this thing hurts more than you think.
It happens that I'm, in a position to change some of these "Situations" but, I just cant help some of them. And even when I try to run away from them, they begin to vehemently put their faces in mine.
I'm gonna share a number of them with you, and you can share yours by leaving a comment below.

I hate it when My Boss who happens to be a novice on a subject keeps pushing a wrong decision/view at me.
(Sometimes, I feel like punching him in the face, but that might cost me my job.)
I hate it when an Adult authoritatively displays his/her foolishness.
(Sometimes I try to correct them, but they'll mostly use their age as a reason they should be wiser than me, while some will even claim experience is the best teacher.)

I hate it when Someone repeatedly refuses to take correction.

(Dude, no one is an Island of knowledge. You shouldn't hoard it, neither should you refuse new ones. It's impossible to know everything, but it's possible to learn something New.)

I hate it when Someone tells a lie right to my face.
(Sometimes, I already know the truth, but will keep leading the person on, just for the fun. But it gets a lot more annoying when the person in question is openly trying to make a fool of you.)
I hate it when I'm telling the truth to a person, but the person just wouldn't believe me.

(Excuse me Sir/Miss, Not everybody that lie like you do, so believing me might just do you some good.)

I hate it when The Person I'm trying to ignore keeps putting himself in my face.
(Irrespective of the fact I'm actually shunning, ignoring, shutting or even giving him the "silence treatment" He just won't get the message.)
I hate it when I'm trying to talk to a girl, and she believes I'm hitting on her.
(Is there nothing else a guy can talk to a girl about other than asking her out or hitting on her? come on.... Even when I'm trying to ask for directions, she's busy trying to "form levels." If I wanted to ask you out, I'll not be asking all the questions, I'll be forthright with you)
I hate it when a girl I'm not interested in keeps throwing herself at me.
(Ladies, please, if he's not interested let him be. If I'm not interested, someone else will surely someone else will be. So just let me be.)
I hate it when someone wants to force me to love a song.
(We don't share the same brain, so I wouldn't necessarily love everything you love. Your best choice might be the worst to me, this shouldn't make you pick offense. And if I tell you I don't like it, then put it off or listen to it alone.)
N.B: This also applies to books, movies, artist, athletes, sports, clubs, videos, and every other thing.
I hate it when an established artist begins to put out trash songs.
(Do they take us for fools. You are a success today doesn't mean we the fans will follow your lead blindly. If you have no sensible song, just shut up, and we'll continue to celebrate your past glories.)
I hate it when a person continually puts up with an undeserving spouse.
(Relationships are meant to be enjoyed and not endured. He makes your life a liveing hell, cheats on you, beats you, treats you like trash, then what are you still doing with him? Trust me, there are over a thousand and one guy who'll be happy to have you. Leave him alone and move on with your life.)
N.B: This also applies to guys. And no Guy or Lady is so good that You'll die if you don't date her. GROW UP PLEASE.
There are still a lot of them, but I'll leave the rest for another day.

The fact is the things sometimes act as comic relief to me, but when it gets over-bearing it begins to piss me off.Feel free to share with us some acts, habits, or things that annoy you.