Why I Do Not Have A Girlfriend.

Am I the guy in the middle? I Wish.

   Why don't I have a girlfriend? the question should be "why should I have a girlfriend". I've been in countless conversations with friends, especially one that I'm reuniting with after a long time. We'll ask each other of what we've been doing, how life is treating them, and how they are holding up. Inevitably, I'll ask if they are in any relationship, and the reply mostly will be a resounding yes, followed by a long story of how they meet this wonderful girl (or boy) who is everything they dreamed of, and how She (or He) is all they can think about all day. Those who are not currently in a relationship go on to tell me about this heartless girl (or boy) they dated, and how he/she messed up big time, which lead to the end of their relationship.
 After all the narration, they'll ask for my own "relationship story". and I'll tell them "I'm not in a relationship". They'll say "ok then, what about your Ex-es". I'll reply, "I've actually never been in one before". This is followed by a ridiculous look of disbelief, and most of them assume I'm lying. I then go on to explain that thanks to a number of factors, I've not been in a relationship.
 First and Foremost, thanks to my upbringing, I developed some principles by which I've actually lived my entire life. Originally, I never wanted to be in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, I just wanted to cut to the chase and get someone willing to marry, and go ahead to marry her. This was in turn aided by my "phobia" for the female folk. I use to be scared of girls, thanks to some earlier experience,as well as the fact that girls always posed as the only obstacle between me and the top position in most of my activity as a younger child, making me see them as a threat, which I must always fight.
 As I grew older, I realized I'll probably need to get closer to girls to be able to achieve somethings. I got closer to a few very intelligent girls around me, I learned a lot from them, and subconsciously, they raised my expectation from any girl I'll get to date. This actually reduced the chances of any girl I meet. Because the first time I meet any girl, I begin to measure her up with all of my female friend, not one of them, but all of them. No girl has been able to combine all the positive attributes of my female friends. (I act hope to meet a girl who will make me forget about all my standards or expectation.)
 Another issue I have to deal with is the fact that I began to have crushes on many of my female friends, (I've actually had a crush on all of my female friends at different time.) I realized that if I asked every girl I crushed on, I would end up dating too many people. The funny part was that the crush was on and off, I would get over it, and later, I would crush even heavier on them. It would also be very awkward if I have dated all of my female friends and then went on to brake up by them. Seriously, I'm better off crushing on all of my friends, than breaking up with all of them.
 Finally, there were some girls I wanted to date, and some of them were also interested in dating me, but there was just one problem, They were in a relationship at the time, and I was not willing to break up someone else relationship, just to satisfy myself. So it was an issue of availability vs moral.
 So here am I today without a girlfriend, but enjoying every moment of being single. And most importantly pleasing God. Since I do not have a girlfriend, I'm actually under less pressure to engage in acts of fornication, and I don't have to spend money on making someone else happy at my own expense.
 But seriously though, I would very much love to meet that special someone very soon. (Today is not a bad day for that to happen.) Any girl interested in being that "Special someone" should feel free to contact me, we can start from "somewhere".
 Until then I'm Single, I'm Free, and I don't have any Worries.

Photo Of The Day: 2-July-2012

All I see is Love

 "I don't know why I'm such a sucker for love." actually that's not my line, it's something I stole from a guy's comment on one post on one blog. Long story short, these days, I'm getting more and more enamored by this "idea" of "LOVE". It actually constitutes about 75% of my thoughts.
 I don't know how to get over it, it's like this overshadowing hangover, which I'm stuck with, and can't be cured. It influences every activity of mine, and is beginning to cloud my judgement.
 Hopefully one of this days, I'll find someone to share this feelings with, or maybe get a pill that cures people of this feeling.
 Either way, everywhere I look, all I can see is Love!!!!!

Am I Addicted To Love?

That Should be Me and My Miss in the Picture.

 Suddenly, everywhere I turn, I'm confronted with something that reminds me of Love (Not sex, please, there is a difference. We'll talk on that later.)
 My old crushes are showing up everywhere I turn, Female friends I have are suddenly seeming more hotter, (or cooler, depending on which generation you belong to.) And I'm meeting new female friends who are not helping my plight at all.
 I literally use to close my eyes whenever I see a really cute couple, but in recent times, that has been impossible. As much as I'll like to put an excuse to this, there is a fact that is impossible to ignore. I am getting older, (I actually turned 20 years old this year) and so are my friends. Thanks to my more developed mental capacity, physical attribute assessment and appreciation capacity, and most importantly, but also most dangerous of all is some hormone advancement. (I don't know the name for this hormones, because I'm not much of a science guy.)
I've come to some conclusion, hoping this will help in alleviating my plight.
 Firstly, I'll probably get a very soon. But there is a big challenge here. Thanks to the many beautiful, intelligent , mature, selfless, and motherly-hearted female friends I have, who I happen to be very close to, It is almost impossible for me to find a girl who can perfectly, or preferably, finely combine most of the positive attributes of my female friends. It is going to be very difficult, if not impossible for any girl to meet this high standard of perfection, which this girls have built in my mind. But then maybe I will meet a girl, who will make me just forget about all these standards and conditions altogether.
 Secondly, I might have to stop being friends with all my female friends, Maybe this will help me ignore more of my emotional need for companionship. But this might boomerang, as it might leave a bigger vacuum, making me an emotional wreck in the process, thereby hastening me to take a wrong decision of getting a girlfriend. In which case, I might end up getting the wrong girl.
 Thirdly, I will like to get married next year. I have told this to a couple of friends, and after listening to my argument, some have bought the idea, while others have out-rightly advised me against it. Which girl in her right mind will happen to marry a 21 year old guy, (I'll be 21 years old next year), who doesn't have a fortune to his name, (But he does have big ambitions), and is not even a university graduate yet. By my estimate, I will probably have to marry someone about three to five years older than I am, As most girls my age-mate still want to live their live, have fun, and be independent. What they want in a relationship is different from what I want. But if I'm lucky, I might just find a special "someone" who wants to begin to live her life with her "Soul-mate" early enough, to have th advantage of being "Pure, Innocent, or simply all the advantages of being a couple."
 Actually, I'll prefer if I find a girl who fits my "Dream-Girl Description", I date her, and she gets along well with my friends (male and female) as well as my family. Then Next year, probably August, we get married, and "Live Happily Ever After".

I'm In A Love Triangle

I hope the three of Us don't end up Like This.

Before I begin writing this Post, I'll like to say something: I actually hope two people never get to read this piece. Firstly, My Best Friend; Secondly, My Crush, who My Best-Friend happens to be interested in. On a second thought, I also hope My Wife and maybe My Children never get to read this too. because it might cause a lot of controversies in the future, especially if I can't write special piece for my wife. And Maybe My aunty, siblings, pastor and some of my co-workers never get to read this. Else this is surely gonna change their view of me.
Back to business. Over the years, I've had interest in a couple of girls, I just wanted to be more than friends with them, but with time, most of the feelings get washed away, while some of them persist, and manage to stay subdued over time.
But then, My best-friend happens to be a "ladies favorite". He meets a girl for the first time, and she falls head over heels for him. While I'm a sharp contrast to that, I'm more likely to be disliked by a lady whose just meeting me, (actually, most of the female friends I have, I meet under circumstances where we just had to get along with one another.)
One thing I'm happy about is that My friend (Let's call him "T" for the purpose of this discussion, except you read my previous piece on Him) doesn't "Over Use" this to his advantage. He respects these girls, treats them right, and tries to be best of friends with as many of them as possible.
Just like every other guy out there, T also has feelings for a number of this girls, Two of them actually, until recently when He meet a third one, who He has been crazy about (Which is very uncharacteristic of Him.)
I'll tell you more about the other girls, and His own dilemma in dealing with them some other times, but today, I'm gonna talk about only one of them. (Let's call her "F" just for the purpose of this discussion, except if you know the three of us personally, in which case I'll most probably be in big trouble).
I'll start right from the genesis of this whole palaver (i actually didn't know palaver is a correct English word until I checked my dictionary, I thought it was pidgin).
I started senior secondary school about a month later than most of my peers, then I was posted to a wrong class for over half of the academic session. When eventually I was transferred to the right class, I noticed a couple of things about this class (I'll write about it sometimes in the future.) and It was actually impossible not to notice this young, confident and vibrant young boy. I was actually sat right behind him, and we became friends. I also noticed this girl who always had a beret on, (Which was kinda uncommon in our class back then). She was beautiful, and had this lovely smile which was infectious.
The boy was "T" while the girl was"F". Before the end of our first year of school, there were lots of hook-ups in our class, as we had begun to notice the characters of each other, and get to know each other better.
"T" and "F" were mutually attracted to one another, but didn't exactly go into an official relationship, although they were as good as being a couple. They were even closer and more cute than most known couple in the class back then. But then, instead of openly showing affection for one another, they'll engage in public argument, and consistently take opposing sides on almost every discussion, but the chemistry between them was very visible to everyone.
After we finished secondary school, I, "T" and "F" got closer than before, and they still didn't have any official relationship, although they both admitted to having feelings for one another.
As I and "F" got closer, I began to have feelings for her, as I began noticing more positive sides of her, and I'll admit, she got even more beautiful (I don't know how that's even possible, because she was already too beautiful before.)
I believed if I leave this feeling unattended to, it will die a natural death, but each time we talked, chat, or I saw her pictures, I loved her even more. If she was somebody else, I will probably have told her about my feelings for her, but she is suppose to be in a relationship with my Best friend "T".
 I believe asking her out will amount to betraying the confidence and trust of My Best-Friend, although they never dated, and I don't see that happening soon, but then even if I date get to date her, I have this premonition, that she'll always compare me to "T" which might prove disastrous for our relationship, and cause constant conflict between "T" and I, which is something I'll rather avoid.
If I was to advice someone else who was in this same predicament, it may be easy doing that, but right now, I've decided to keep shunning my feelings, and remain best of friends with both "T" and "F". And this has also made me have a change of heart in the way I give people relationship advice.

The Love(S) Of My Life

 I've never been one for keeping much friends, and interestingly, until I finished secondary school, I hardly kept a friend for period of five years, circumstantial incidence made it impossible to remain friends with the same person for such a period of time.

 But in the midst of it all, I've always had some special persons, with whom I've been a lot closer to, this people were more than friends to me, they were more than siblings, they were more like a part of me. This people defined my life and made me what I am today, I owe them a lot of appreciation (and maybe some blames). Among these people, I'm proud to say I've met some beautiful, Intelligent, Interesting and simply wonderful girls. 

 Due to my unusual close relationship with these lovely girls (and ladies) over the years, a lot of people believed I must have dated a number of them (I Wish I Did), but our relationship was mostly platonic, innocent, care-free, and fun.

 I've decided to write about them for posterity sake, so everyone who reads this will know them, (hopefully one or all of them also get to read this). And for anyone who recognizes any of these girls, "Congrats". While for every other reader, I'll use their initials instead of their names.

M: M was the very first girl I'll say I had a special something for, We met in the primary school, probably before we turned seven years old, we were part of a three man gang, with the third person being my best friend at that time, a boy who goes by the name of J. 

M was special to me, as she was easily the most beautiful and most intelligent girl I knew back then, All the good memories I have of that school has M in them, after I left the school, I didn't see her for over ten years, but recently, I met a mutual friend who has her contact details, I intend to renew contact with her in the next couple of weeks. Maybe this time, I'll take my chances and ask to take our "Friendship" beyond "Friendship".

(The most intriguing aspect of M and I is that we were a part of each other's childhood, were best of friends, and our innocence in the midst of such a wonderful relationship is what I love the most about our friendship)

E.E: E was this my class mate at the second primary school I attended, she was the quiet type, not very confident, but what she lacked in confidence, she made up for with intelligence. We were very close until we finished primary school, people even made jokes of her being my wife.

We parted ways after our primary school days, I saw her a couple of times after that, but didn't talk much, but I'll admit, she looked better each time I saw her (I don't know how that's possible).

I hope to meet her one day, even if we'll be nothing more than friends, I think it'll be worth the time and effort.

JC.O: After I spent the whole of my years in Junior Secondary School avoiding girls like a plague, I got to Senior Secondary School, and there I met the most perfect combination of beauty and brain I had ever seen in my life (at that time), She was one of the most popular girls in our class/session, she was not only beautiful and brilliant, but she was also friendly and open minded, she listened to everyone's opinion around her, was a natural leader, and very humble.

This attracted me to her, and although we did not talk much in our school days, after finishing secondary school, we got to know each other better, and became better friends. I learnt a lot from her (I still do). Happily enough, we are still friends (although I'll love it if we'll be more than that) and I hope we remain best of friends for ever.

She changed and upgraded my standard for measuring girls, raising my expectations, and helping me to relate better with girls.

D: Soon after I got into Senior Secondary School, I meet a girl online, she stays outside of Lagos state, but I still wanted to be friends, so we kept in contact. Over the years, we got to know each other better, shared a lot of memories as well as secrets. I learnt a lot of things from her, as she opened up herself to me, making me do the same. She taught me a new type of trust, making me trust in a way I had never done before.

She changed my perception of things, teaching me to see things from the female point of view, helping me understand the female-folk better, making me a better man in the process. We were actually closer than most couples I knew around. From what I understood from her and other couples, I think there's a probability we might have been closer, or shared more than she did with her boyfriend.

I always wonder, if she was staying in Lagos, or someplace closer, and not half way across the country, Maybe, just maybe we will have dated.

I'll always be grateful to her for curing a better percentage of my naivety, making me more trusting, more knowledgeable, more experienced, and a better man.

I Love her very much, and we'll always be best of friends (I hope my wife agrees) .

B: When I got to Senior Secondary School, We also moved to a new house, I had a neighbor who lived just a couple of houses away, someone I'll normally never talk to, but we had something in common, our love for books. I grew up reading everything that I came across, from novels to textbooks, to newspapers, to magazines, just anything written or printed. I was not selective (except it had to do with figures, basically I was kinda allergic to mathematics).

And here I was in a new location, with basically no social skills, and I saw this girl who I never saw without a novel. We hit it up from there, became best of friends (Which I still don't understand how, cause we're very different). 

She was my new source of novels and textbooks cause we were in the same class (but different schools). We had a lot of memorable and intelligent conversations. And she made me see another view of the female folk. She helped me develop my social skills, making me more receptive of people, and brought out more of the interactive person in me.

We'll remain best of friends for a long time (maybe forever, or until I get a wife) as she's proven herself to be very knowledgeably, as well as being resourceful.

C: This is most unexpected inclusion on this list, I knew her all through my Secondary School days, She was always in the next class to mine, we saw each other basically everyday, but hardly ever spoke with each other, but there are some facts I'll admit to, Firstly, she's very beautiful, also, she's very intelligent, finally, she's a friendly person, but we were never friends.

Until recently, (Over two years after secondary school) I was repeatedly visiting my best friend, and her house was just a few streets away. I saw her almost every time I went to visit him, as she was friends with his elder sister.

We began to speak with each other, and became kinda friendly, now I know her a little better, and I can actually say she might be "The One".

All this people are part of my history, they are a part of me, and have contributed immensely in making me what I am today. 

To everyone of you I want to say a big "THANK YOU", God bless you all, an "I Love You All".

I Think I'm Love Sick.

 The last couple of weeks has been the best and worst weeks of my life, but beneath it all, I have suddenly been having the most unusual feeling in my heart.
 It's something I've never felt before, It's so intense I find it impossible to ignore the feeling. I actually spent all my life ignoring and denying any feeling that might feel like love. I practically kill the feeling before it even buds.
 But in the last couple of weeks, I've been consistently been faced with this feeling again and again. But the only problem is I'm having the feeling for more than one person, it seems everyone I ever had special feelings for are suddenly showing up in my life, looking even more beautiful than they looked years ago, they sounded a lot more intelligent than they use too, and worse of it is they are not avoiding me, they all remain receptive and friendly towards me, and I'm continually feeling blessed to have them in my life.
 Only problem is out of about seven to ten people I'm having feelings for, I can only date one of them, as I have no intention of double dating or cheating on anyone, and I also want to have the right person as my date, as I don't want my present decision to have negative impact on me or anyone i the future.
 So I've decided to leave all of them and see which of them would get into a relationship with someone else, thereby reducing my options. But I have my fears.
 What if the person left actually has no interest in me? What if they all get into relationships before I can get back to them? What if I keep meeting more people like them, and I'm constantly having multiple options?
 I'll tell you all about each of these girls at a later time, but until then, I'll leave everything in God's hands.

First Date Ideas That are not Dinner, Movie, Or Drinks

Here are alternative Ideas for a first date that are least likely to leave you out of topics to discuss, or put you in akward positions. They also work for any other date, be it a couple or a group.

This article is culled from TheFrisky.com

1. Fly a kite.

2. Walk your dogs at the park or, if you don’t have dogs, watch the dogs at the dog park and discuss which ones you want to take home.

3. Volunteer — plant flowers with the Parks Dept., donate blood, or paint a school.

4. Play Scrabble at a coffee shop.

5. Go to a used bookstore and buy each other one book you think the person should read.

6. Take a hip-hop dance class.

7. Get a psychic reading or have your tarot cards read. Discuss the accuracy — or lack thereof — as a starting point for getting to know each other.

8. Have breakfast before work.

9. See a free outdoor concert.

10. Go to a book reading.

11. Go bowling — winner buys the beer.

12. Go for a hike and bird watch.

13. Play miniature golf.

14. Go gallery hopping and talk about which paintings you’d buy if you were rich.

15. Play ping-pong.

16. Be a tourist in your own city and visit a local attraction that neither of you has ever been to.

17. Ride bikes.

18. Tackle a rock climbing wall.

19. Karaoke!

20. Visit the Planetarium or Natural History Museum.

21. Learn to cook something yummy at the local culinary school.

22. If you’re going to eat dinner, do it progressively, which each course at a different restaurant.

23. Play hooky from work and have a picnic in the park.

24. Play chess at one of those outdoor tables.

25. Go somewhere with interesting scenery and sketch — then ask strangers to vote on whose drawing is better. Winner buys the loser a drink.


My Thoughts: I don't buy all this ideas, but I agree with most of them, Being in the public with a person makes you see parts of the person you'll normally miss when you are alone, and you are less tempted to commit immorality.
Remember, Stay safe, and stay away from pre-marital sex, It does more harm than good. and it in no way solidify your relationship. Don't let anyone deceive you.
Sleeping with you will not make him love you, it will only make him suspicious of you.
We'll talk more on such matters later.