Showing posts with label Regrets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Regrets. Show all posts

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Why I Do Not Have A Girlfriend.

Am I the guy in the middle? I Wish.
   Why don't I have a girlfriend? the question should be "why should I have a girlfriend". I've been in countless conversations with friends, especially one that I'm reuniting with after a long time. We'll ask each other of what we've been doing, how life is treating them, and how they are holding up. Inevitably, I'll ask if they are in any relationship, and the reply mostly will be a resounding yes, followed by a long story of how they meet this wonderful girl (or boy) who is everything they dreamed of, and how She (or He) is all they can think about all day. Those who are not currently in a relationship go on to tell me about this heartless girl (or boy) they dated, and how he/she messed up big time, which lead to the end of their relationship.
 After all the narration, they'll ask for my own "relationship story". and I'll tell them "I'm not in a relationship". They'll say "ok then, what about your Ex-es". I'll reply, "I've actually never been in one before". This is followed by a ridiculous look of disbelief, and most of them assume I'm lying. I then go on to explain that thanks to a number of factors, I've not been in a relationship.
 First and Foremost, thanks to my upbringing, I developed some principles by which I've actually lived my entire life. Originally, I never wanted to be in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, I just wanted to cut to the chase and get someone willing to marry, and go ahead to marry her. This was in turn aided by my "phobia" for the female folk. I use to be scared of girls, thanks to some earlier experience,as well as the fact that girls always posed as the only obstacle between me and the top position in most of my activity as a younger child, making me see them as a threat, which I must always fight.
 As I grew older, I realized I'll probably need to get closer to girls to be able to achieve somethings. I got closer to a few very intelligent girls around me, I learned a lot from them, and subconsciously, they raised my expectation from any girl I'll get to date. This actually reduced the chances of any girl I meet. Because the first time I meet any girl, I begin to measure her up with all of my female friend, not one of them, but all of them. No girl has been able to combine all the positive attributes of my female friends. (I act hope to meet a girl who will make me forget about all my standards or expectation.)
 Another issue I have to deal with is the fact that I began to have crushes on many of my female friends, (I've actually had a crush on all of my female friends at different time.) I realized that if I asked every girl I crushed on, I would end up dating too many people. The funny part was that the crush was on and off, I would get over it, and later, I would crush even heavier on them. It would also be very awkward if I have dated all of my female friends and then went on to brake up by them. Seriously, I'm better off crushing on all of my friends, than breaking up with all of them.
 Finally, there were some girls I wanted to date, and some of them were also interested in dating me, but there was just one problem, They were in a relationship at the time, and I was not willing to break up someone else relationship, just to satisfy myself. So it was an issue of availability vs moral.
 So here am I today without a girlfriend, but enjoying every moment of being single. And most importantly pleasing God. Since I do not have a girlfriend, I'm actually under less pressure to engage in acts of fornication, and I don't have to spend money on making someone else happy at my own expense.
 But seriously though, I would very much love to meet that special someone very soon. (Today is not a bad day for that to happen.) Any girl interested in being that "Special someone" should feel free to contact me, we can start from "somewhere".
 Until then I'm Single, I'm Free, and I don't have any Worries.

Thursday, 10 May 2012

When is it Right to be Selfish?

Who Said That?
 This is a question which most people will easily answer with a big Never. but time and time again, I have been in a position where the appropriate thing to do would be to be selfish. Simple.
 Some people who know me when I was younger will tell you that I was actually a selfish little boy, and I'll testify to that. I actually was very much selfish, and I knew it. But at one point, I decided to be more liberal and selfless. Since then (By God's grace) I've actually been more of a giver than I use to be.
But the only time when I will ever be selfish again is if the recipient of my selfishness is proving to be foolish, careless, and unnecessarily selfish. Some people take your liberal attitude as foolishness, weakness, and a sign of Immaturity. They'll keep everything they have away from you, while expecting you to hand everything you own over to them, even when they don't deserve to have it. And whenever you ask for their contribution to a joint venture, they'll make an excuse, and give you a justification for their selfishness. Under such circumstances, I'll advise you be selfish to such selfishness.
 Another instance where I'll recommend selfishness is when someone uses your generosity as a front for laziness. Because of your hard-working nature, your sense of dutifulness, and your willingness to share, some people will chose not to work and practically live off your labor. They'll sit around all day, expecting you to bring in all you have, while they sit on their ass and wholeheartedly help you to feed off your labor. In such instances, I recommend you go into full selfishness mode.
 Finally, and most people will call me a selfish guy for this. when everybody is being graciously generous over a trivial issue, Then I recommend you can get a little bit selfish. I'm talking about those awkward moments when there is only a little amount of groundnut, or other food item left in the plate, and everyone is like "You take it, I'm filled." and then everyone is politely, charismatically, courteously leave the last piece of food item in the plate. I'll gladly pick it up and eat it. Let's forget about "big boyism" or ego, or "whatever". Let's eat and get our belly filled. Pick the last stuff left, satisfy yourself, forget about what others will think or say. And leave there.
 In summary, it is sometimes necessary to be selfish, and I'll advice you listen to all sides of a story before passing your judgement.

An Empty Head, And An Empty Mind.

Blank Mind
 Over the last couple of weeks, I've been feeling awkwardly lazy. My normal Self (or as I hope I am) is a hard working, creative minded person. But recently, the creative aspect has been functioning, but my body as been reluctant to complete the creative process.
 For over Five years now, I've always had about 20 to 50 different ideas at different stages on my mind. From conceptual, to processing, to outputting (writing, or recording). It has always been difficult for me to lay down whatever is on my mind, as ideas were just boundless, ever-developing, and getting better everyday.
 I had always managed to discipline myself to bring out whatever I might be working on, because if I didn't bring out what I was working on mentally, I would find it difficult to work on other stuffs.
 But recently, things have just been crazy, I still conceptualize and nurture stuffs in my mind, but outputting these stuffs have virtually been impossible. And this is a very big problem for me, as my mind is constantly in a state of disorganization. If my mind was actually visible, it will look like a work-table where everything is messed up, and nothing is sort out. Or a one of those highly networked fiber-optic layer of multi-crossed cables, which are just spun into one another, and cannot be separated from each other.
 Simply put my mind is a mess, because my body is lazy. or should I say "The spirit is Willing, but the body is weak". I actually wish there was a technology that I could just hook myself to, and it would just bring up everything in my mind, in a orderly manner that will be easily understandable.
 I hope I'll get some of this stuff sorted out, discipline myself to work harder, and free up my mind, else my life could get real worse. (It actually affects my mood).
Or maybe if I get a

Monday, 16 April 2012

One Thing I Wish I Can Change



 I never look back at whatever I have done with regrets or wishing I could go back to change things. I simply take an action, if it turns out right, I enjoy it, if it doesn't, I'll still go with the flow. But there is one exception to this.
 Right now, One thing I wish I had taken more seriously, The only thing I reminisce upon and wish I had done right, That one thing which if I had the chance, I'll do differently, is simply, "My dental hygiene."
 When I was younger, I refused all of my parents advice to take good care of my teeth. Whenever it was holiday period, or weekends, I simply forgot about brushing my teeth, and will only brush it whenever they insisted I will not eat, except I brush.
 I felt like it was an unnecessary punishment, and right now, I'm paying the price for that. For the last couple of years, I've been having serious tooth pain (Thank God it is not Mouth Odor, that will simply have made me feel a lot worse.) but nevertheless, it still hurts. Last week Thursday, I couldn't sleep from all the pain it was causing me, this made me have a bad day in the morning.
 So now, I'm saving up some money to visit the dentist, and see what he (Hopefully not a she) can do about it. I've also resolved that when I do have children, they are going to take their dental hygiene serious, whether they like it or not.
 Seeing people with glistening white teeth smile just makes me happy (I'm kinda self conscious when I smile or laugh) and I'll want my children to be able to smile proudly (on my behalf.)
 So parents out there, please, teach your children the importance of dental hygiene, make them realize that it is for their own good.

Saturday, 3 March 2012

ST.Valentine's Day Is Paying Off.

It's Two weeks after St.Valentine's day, and right now, a lot of people lives have changed forever. On Valentine's day, There were some marriage proposals, new hook-ups and new relationships, There were some peaceful break-ups, and some not so pretty/ugly break-ups, some people cheated on their partners and got away with it, while others were caught right in the act.
But the pathetic, (and really annoying to me) story/ritual on Valentine's day is the Virginity that are usually given up/lost.
I don't understand the essence of spending valentine with someone you claim to always loved. If you really love someone, you'll show your love to him/her everyday. And just so you know, Sex is not necessarily a display of love.
I believe Valentine's day should be spent sharing your love with those you wouldn't normally show love to. This ranges from your next door neighbor, to the guy at the store, to the salesman down the road, to the cleaner at the office, to the homeless guy along the street, to the beggar around the corner, and a whole lot more.
If we could share this love unreservedly with everyone everyday, then our everyday life will be sweeter than Valentine day, and Life will be a lot more fulfilling and satisfactory.
For those who spent Valentine's day entwined between the sheet's, and were not careful enough, (or just as they hoped) I believe Valentine's day must have begun to pay-off.
So Dear female friend
Are you feeling sickly especially  morning time?
Do u throw up after eating any meal?
Are your palms and eyes getting whitish?
then congratulations.
VALENTINE JUST PAID OFF!!!

I Say a Big "CONGRATULATIONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1"