Vacancy: New Friends Wanted

Friends Wanted

 The past 15 months of my life has brought me to a couple of realization. Firstly, I don't have enough friends. Secondly, I've outgrown most of my friends. And Finally, I urgently need new friends.
 My plight is not aided by the fact that I am kinda an Introvert. There are two proverbs that keep ringing in my head each time I think about these issues. Firstly, Change is the only constant thing. Secondly, the more things change, the more they remain the same.
 I've decided to open up myself to new people, experiences, and thinking patterns. Hopefully, I'll get to make new friends who'll help me in my quest through life. Every friend I ever had played an important role in my life, so also I've decided to share the roles for which I've got "friends vacancy".
 I need a friend who is very intelligent but quiet. His role will be to challenge me educationally, bringing out the best in me, while ensuring I still take time to keep my private matters private.
 I need a friend who is a socialite. As most of you probably know now, I'm not a known figure, but I think that situation can be helped if I have a friend who is well know, maybe not a celebrity. But at least someone who knows the social circuit, and can get me into any event I want to attend. Even the ones that are supposed to be strictly by invitation.
 I also need a friend who is wealthy, or has a wealthy parent. Either way, He/She or His/Her parents should also be very liberal with their wealth, thereby helping me with some of my finances. Although I'll only need their help in setting up some business. I promise not to waste their money, and to also help them with any investment they might be interested in. (I happen to have a good knowledge in that regard.)
 I need a Socially aware friend. Some who is at the happening club every friday, and knows about all the happening places, joints and events. He should also be Trendy, and very fashion conscious. These traits will hopefully rub off on me (Positively). Then I can also be a happening guy.
 I also need a crazy friend. The type who believes everything is possible, and is always willing to tackle the seemingly impossible. Someone who is always ready to take the leap with me, face any danger, take on anyone or anything, acts first ask questions later, risk everything he's got on something his heart tells him is right although every evidence says he is wrong. Someone who is impulsive, and will go to any length with me.
 Finally, I think it's time I finally get myself that girlfriend have been telling y'all about. Maybe then I can stop checking out all of my beautiful female friends, and stop day dreaming about "One Girl".